Northern Exposure

It was a sunny Saturday in July. The very kind of day people dream about all winter. Kids played in the park, people sat on their porches and sipped their iced tea. A blue haze hung in the air, accompanied by the welcome aroma of a hundred grills roasting the afternoon meal in the back yards of the town. Everything was in its place, except for me.

If you drove down the street that day you would’ve looked in bewilderment at me on the sideway making cast after cast down the street with one of my three new baitcasters. You would have had to laugh at the care and time spent making sure every adjustment was accurate and all the line was spooled perfectly. I know you would have laughed because all the neighbors did. All except one, who seemed quite agitated at the thought of someone in our working class neighborhood being able to afford a trip to Canada for a week of fishing.

“Catching anything?” was his opener to the conversation. Not wanting to spoil an otherwise perfect day I elected to avoid a sarcastic reply and simply answer. As we conversed, he asked more about the trip on which I would soon embark with some dear friends. The more we talked the more he became upset that I could leave my children and do something as expensive as go to Canada. Without diving into detail, I stated the trip wasn’t that expensive and made a quick exit. I simply chalked this encounter up as yet another in an endless series of events where an emotionally unstable person finds, and latches on to me. I’m charmed that way.

It wasn’t until years later, during a rare moment of silent reflection, I considered it may seem like a lot to plan and pay for a fishing trip to Canada. Hell, since I’ve moved to Georgia there are weeks I have trouble buying a cheeseburger. Yet I’ve managed two trips to Canada and a few guided hunts in my day. I’m going to avoid topic hopping and stick to talking about the first of these sojourns. Thinking back, I realize it was simple good planning and a large share of luck that allowed the trip to happen. Here are some stories, tips, ideas, and opinions that may help the first-time traveling outdoor enthusiast prepare for their inaugural adventure away from home.

First, I need to introduce some of the other cast members, beginning with Scott. We met in college and immediately started talking. We’ve been friends ever since, which is no surprise given our shared tendency to drive our wives nuts, a similar passion for getting up at 3am and freezing our assess off in the river, a bad habit of spending a LOT of money on hunting and fishing gear, and what would have to be a similar diagnosis for ADD. Scott’s brother, Eric, and dad, Randy, have similar characteristics which insured this trip would be nothing short of a good time.

The trip itself took about nine months to plan. We talked about it constantly and after all that time managed to have everything set. We couldn’t wait for the day in mid-August when we would finally depart for our long awaited adventure.  Every time we got together there, someone had something new he bought for the trip. By the time August came when we were to leave, you could almost cut the excitement with one of our new filet knives. By the time we left, we had enough gear to make any tournament fisherman green with envy. We had enough food to eat like kings, and I brought enough beer so as to barely be allowed to cross the border with it all. I’m a firm believer that getting there is half the fun. With the cars packed, we were off to the Laurentian View Resort, on the beautiful Ottawa River.

So here are some pointers I had mentioned. First, before I go any further, the trip was spectacular in every way. Everything went as planned and we made some memories we can take with us to the old-folks home. Oh yes, did I mention I almost didn’t get my passport in time because I forgot to get that taken care of until the last minute? There was lesson one for me. I spent so much time thinking about the trip that I overlooked some small, yet crucial points. You can easily plan too carefully and the paperwork is among the easiest thing to overlook or underestimate. As a first time traveler I caution against this. Getting too deep into your planning is a great way to forget your underwear or make some other kind of amateur mistake that will cause difficulty on your trip. It’s the classical case of a double-edged sword. Getting too deep will cause as many problems as not getting deep enough. It’s your vacation, so you don’t want to be stressed out.

My second tip is always listen to your bitch. We left Randy’s house at midnight with intentions to make the eight hour drive, with a breakfast stop, so we could be fishing by 10am, respectively. Scott and I were leading the way in his truck, following the direction of his trusty GPS which we affectionately dubbed “the bitch.” The GPS earned this name after it seemed to have an annoyed tone when we made a pit stop for gas rather than listen to “her” directions. “You bitch” was our simultaneous expression and I marveled at the notion I had lived long enough to see a day when a computer will actually seem to be annoyed by a person.

Like all men, when the bitch told us to go straight we opted to turn right, not feeling she was giving us the best directions. Hells bells a man should always listen to the female voice of reason. Our 10am fishing time turned in to more like 4pm because we didn’t listen to our bitch. On the flip side of that, we did get to see some exquisitely beautiful countryside as we righted our course. So, despite not listening to the bitch, we managed to gain some positive from a near mishap. The moral of the story is to have your travel plan set. There’s always a little room to be spontaneous, but you always want to make sure your first priority is to get there.

Arriving at the resort, we were greeted by a friendly staff and friendly vacationers. We did not realize exactly how friendly until our fellow campers saw us the next morning. We weren’t overly interested in socializing. We came to fish, dammit. Without preamble or ceremony, we strung our rods, tied on lures, and headed out. We only had a few hours until sunset and we at least wanted to do some reconnaissance so we could make plans for our first full day on the water. Now is when I should mention that we were so excited to get this show on the road we left home a day early. The owner of the resort allowed for us to camp in the trucks for a night if we wanted to show up a day early. This seemed like a good idea, and essentially, it was. However, it leads me to my next point. When you’re vacationing with friends, or family for that matter, you need to be prepared to drive each other crazy.


Scott and I had survived collage and done a fair amount of training together in our professional lives, even though we didn’t work for the same agency. Scott was, after all, the one who showed me how to be accurate with a handgun. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared either of us for a night spent sleeping upright in the front seat of Scott’s truck taking turns snoring each other awake. All night long we conducted a nocturnal symphony that had everyone within earshot wondering. At some point in the small hours of the morning, I had given up on the truck and elected to sleep on a lawn chair under the stars. It was here I came to know the true horror of being eaten alive by mosquitos.


With the breaking of dawn we were greeted by our neighbors, who welcomed me to at least sleep in the bed of his pickup truck should I need to. It was then we realized we were in a different world, and surrounded by good people. I mention this because as a first-time traveler, operating on a tight budget, you will find the typical pompous ass who still thinks he’s more important than everyone else. Fortunately, we didn’t have this on our trip, though I have seen it on several adventures since. We mingled with the natives, and ultimately got along well with everyone for the entire trip.


Now it was go-time. The cabin we were assigned was available and we quickly set up camp, to get on the water as soon as humanly possible. That sounds so patient but the gruesome reality was if we could have built a time machine to make it happen quicker we probably would have. God knows Scott and I have collaborated on some crazier ideas. It didn’t take me long to make a discovery that I will pass along as my third tip. Which is you need to get out of your comfort zone.

I am a Pennsylvania mountain boy. My grandfather could pull a musky out of a mud puddle and my father could do the same with walleye. We lived on our local Susquehanna River. It was leagues different from the pristine waters of the Ottawa River. Further, it was a hell of a lot wider and deeper. Scott had fished this area before and did a fabulous job of not letting me look like an idiot, but I still needed to change my way of thinking and fishing. In retrospect, it is amazing how we fall into our comfort zone and don’t even realize it. We’re masters of our environment when we live in a place and completely awkward when we leave that bubble.


At the end of the day, you’ll find that fishing is fishing. It’s the notion of being in a different temperate zone, with a lot deeper water, and an entire group of new species in the area you are fishing. We were all thrilled when Randy caught a four foot sturgeon, and I sounded like a little school girl when I had a spotted gar come out of the weeds after one of my spinners. To people who have this stuff locally it may not be a big deal. However, we, the crazy Americans, were having a blast with the fish we were getting.


Essentially, be prepared for the same species of prey to act completely different when you go to another area. Being raised in Pennsylvania, traveling to Canada and other areas, and now living in the south I can guarantee you animals act different. What is considered a nice day to most people in my native land is freezing to the folks here, just like I want to hide away during August while everyone around me is loving that hot Georgia sun. The fish and animals act the same way. It can be daunting to adjust, especially if you’re on a budget and don’t have a guide.


Now, we need to face one harsh reality. Money doesn’t go around like it used to. But that was okay. We did our trip on a budget and made out better than we would’ve if we had a cook preparing our meals. Another tip for traveling on a budget is to husband your resources. You need to apply the rule of the three “R”s, which are research, research, and research. We were able to have an extra day on our adventure because we planned well. We had a menu, and gear to prepare our own meals, and we ate like kings. We had our own tobacco, beer, tackle, toiletries, gas, and tools. It all came down to research. We knew what tackle we’d need to fish the area, how much food we needed for four men, how much gas was needed, everything. We did our homework and had all the logistics set.

You never know what prices will be locally unless you research. Where we went in Canada beer and tobacco was nearly twice as expensive.  Gas was more expensive so we managed to save a little change by having the tanks on the boats filled when we arrived. Then being in a position of not needing anything else insured we didn’t lose any time or money making the twenty mile drive to town. If you’re going to book a budget adventure you shouldn’t be afraid to call the proprietor of your destination and grill them about such things. If they are too busy, not willing to give a solid answer, or too mean to answer you then odds are you’re going to the wrong destination. Again, there’s no way I can overstate how hospitable our host was.


So, our time on the Ottawa River wore on. As the week progressed, we were more and more careful not to mention packing up and going home. Except for Randy, that is. He missed his dog. The fishing was great, the food was superb, the company was tight, and everything around us was pristine and well kept. We really couldn’t have asked for anything more. This leads me to my fourth and final tip. Enjoy yourself, dammit.


A thousand blogs and articles out there will tell you all about traveling. Likewise, there are just as many giving you information on types and colors of lures, how to play the tide, best times of day to hunt or fish, where to find the best strip clubs, how to enjoy local dining, and on, and on, and on. Yet in all my reading and research preparing for a trip I have never seen anyone simply tell the reader to enjoy their trip. Enjoy the scenery, throw caution to the wind and eat something you normally wouldn’t, stay up late, get up early. For all the planning you will do you again need to be able and ready to step outside that comfort one and enjoy yourself.


Didn’t bring the right color lure? Improvise, the fish will hit on something. Forgot your underwear? Go commando, nobody will notice under normal circumstances. Lost your driver license? No big deal, they probably won’t want to keep you wherever you are. Didn’t bring a cell phone charger? It’s okay, you probably didn’t need to talk to whoever is trying to get you anyway. There’s literally a hundred things that can go wrong with a trip. But you’ll never be set up for a bad time if you have the right attitude going in to the journey.  Remember, life is all about the journey. Just remember to pack some extra toilet paper.


Finally, enjoy your company. I have seen trips where one of the group was so stingy and miserable he hoarded his own private stock of toilet paper that he was absolutely unwilling to share. While this gentleman was generally ignored, he did have a few moments where he brought down members of the camp. Nobody wants to deal with someone like that. The trip to Ottawa I have spoken of found me among the very finest of people. I would pass along a reminder to everyone that whether you’re traveling with friends or family you need to be grateful to these people and cherish the memories you would all build together. As a traveler and adventurer, you will find your budget is not as important so long as you are in the best of company.


In the end, we are humans. We have grocery stores, restaurants, convenience stores, and our mother-in-law’s spaghetti during the worst of times. We don’t need to hunt and fish. We’re not going to starve if we don’t take to the great outdoors and return with mother nature’s bounty. That being said, we are humans. We are pack animals by nature and need comminatory. Just like we need golf, baseball, football, bar-hopping, back yard grilling, and dining out, we need to hunt. For some, the calling to the outdoors with their friends and family is what builds bonds that are stronger than anything found in society. If you’re going to work all year to save for a trip afield then make sure you travel with the very best of company.

In conclusion, outdoor travel adventures on a budget can be a great way to experience those dream hunting and fishing trips you have read about or seen on TV. No matter what job you have or what your income looks like you can pull off most any adventure as long as you are willing to put your money in the right place and have your mind set on a good time. Plan carefully, spend wisely, pack frugally, and remember to listen to your bitch.

How To Train Your Bow

How do you train your bow? If you’re a long-time archer, this may not be a question you put much thought into. However, if you’re a novice or looking to get into the sport for the first time training your bow can be a chore. Especially if you don’t have the budget to buy all new equipment and have a professional set your bow up for you. But, like with anything else, there is always a cheaper way if you really put some brainpower into finding it.

If you go to any of the major retailers or smaller pro shops you’ll no doubt find rack after rack of equipment waiting for a trip afield. As you stroll through the isle you will see vastly different camo patterns and configurations. There will no doubt be something that will catch your eye, simply through visual grace or masculine bad-ass appeal. Then you move in and flip the price tag over, only to find your hopes dashed on the rocks.

And why wouldn’t you nearly run and scream when you see some of those price tags? Some bows on the market are fetching more than a thousand dollars. Then you still have the added expense of accessories and arrows. Before you know it our beloved sport of bow hunting and archery will be washed away, replaced only with empty afternoons and autumn evenings wishing you had a bow. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’ve encountered a number of people who go to flea markets and yard sales in search of a used bow, only to be disappointed by the performance. Once that disappointment sets in they are quick to abandon the sport. Which is a true shame as bow season allows for a very quiet and enjoyable time in the woods. Not to mention weekend afternoons that are challenging and good for your soul. It’s no wonder people who love their bows really love their bows.

So here’s a few pointers for the folks out there who have never picked up a bow. Archery is among the most fascinating sports if you take the time to develop your skill. It all starts with deciding to purchase your bow. This can be among the most daunting task, and yet the most simple. For years the competition has been fierce among bow manufacturers, which has left the public with a veritable mountain of used archery options.

When facing this mountain you realize picking the right used bow is like playing a game of Tetris. You can’t just buy anything. First, figure your price range. Bows tend to be like cars and computers. If you buy something too modern you may as well shell out the little extra and get something brand new and properly outfitted. If your budget is significantly lower you’ll end up getting a piece of equipment which may not have parts available to make adjustments.

For example, I recently acquired an XI Legacy, which was a bow I had fallen in love with in the mid 90’s. I nearly tore the pocket out of my pants when I saw this long-desired gem at my local flea market. This was total impulse-buy stupidity as I got home and found that not only did it not fit me, but none of my local sources had the modules to make it fit me. I ended up getting lucky after two months of intense searching on ebay. Moral of the story, make sure the bow you are buying fits you as close to perfectly as possible.

What’s a perfect fitting bow? Basically, you should be able to draw it with only the strength in your arm. It shouldn’t be so heavy that you need to flex, grunt, lurch, lunge, or struggle to bring it to full draw. You want a fluid, smooth, easy motion. When you get the bow to full draw you should be able to simulate touching your index finger to the corner of your mouth, yet the arm holding the bow should be slightly bent. You also want to make sure your back is straight and you able to hold the bow without excess shaking. If you can manage all that, then you probably have a used bow that is a good fit for you.

When you find a bow that fits you there is the task of making sure it is in fact a safe and reliable shooter. There are a few things to look for. First, make sure to check the limbs. You are looking for cracks, slinters, or separations. If you see any of these anomalies, you need to walk away. The scary part about an issue of this nature is they may not get worse they could simply fail. That’s it, one second you’re shooting and the next your bow is turning into splinters.

Next, check the strings. You want to examine them for tears or weaker looking spots. You’ll also want to look at the serving near the knock point and around the cams. The serving is the areas of the strings wrapped in a thread or monofilament. Newer used bows will often have regular serving but older ones will use monofilament. The older mono serving has a tendency to burst suddenly and completely unravel when broken. That’s not to say these older bows don’t work well, but I would plan to have this monofilament serving replaced as soon as possible.

Should the strings be in questionable shape its not to automatically say the bow is a bad deal. Ultimately that is your call to make. However, its not a bad idea to have an idea of what you’ll invest in a new pair of strings and cables. The last time I had a full set of strings and cables replaced the cost was about one-hundred and fifty dollars. In my circumstance it was a reasonable price, but I still wasn’t prepared to shell out that kind of dough.

With the cables and strings in good order it is time to check if the bow functions. When you draw the bow you should be able to get the string back with just the strength in your draw arm. This means you hold the bow out and draw the string back without shrugging your shoulders, turning your head, and your bow arm should be slightly bent. When your index finger is situated in place you should not be able to more the string any more. It should be rock solid. This is called the wall.

If there is any give in the string at this point it means the cables have stretched and the cams or wheels are not turning at the exact same time. This is known as the timing of the bow. Basically, a spongy wall often equates to the cams being out of time. It is very important both cams or wheels turn at the same time. If they do not, your bow will suffer in regards to speed, energy, and accuracy.  Often times the bow will begin to pull one way or the other as the cams or wheels fall further out of time.

No matter the condition of the bow you purchase, it should have an appointment with your local bow-doctor. This will be a small investment to make sure the cams are timed and other tuning details are attended to. You can also have your bow-doctor set a knock point, tie in a peep sight, and affix a kisser button for you. All these are crucial elements and not so easy to do without a bow press and serving thread. You’ll also be able to have the draw weight checked so you’ll be able to make a better decision as to arrow purchase. If your weight and arrow size are off in one way or the other you could damage your bow and lose accuracy. Now that you’ve had your new bow professionally inspected it’s time to start setting it up.

Let’s start by tuning our rest. I use to be a fan of paper tuning, but was taught how to use a method called walk back tuning. This was a method shown to me Keith Weaver, from Weaver’s Archery in Kreamer, Pennsylvania. On his Website, Keith says “Get a quick reading of your zero by getting your top pin close. Using that pin fire 1-3 arrows from 10, 20 and 30 yards or farther if you have the room. If your arrows stray right, move your rest left or vice versa until all your arrows make a vertical line. That’s it, it’s done. You are now ready to get your pin settings from shortest to longest and your pins will stay in a vertical line because the bow is responding to your style of shooting. In some areas there may be room for improvement but it will come with time.”

Sighting in your bow is a reasonably easy task. Set your distance, set your sight. Most modern sights have a circular gurad which is also designed to fill the circular apature of the peep sight. This enables the shooter to center the entire sight in the peep sight instead of a single pin. This allows from more consistency which will foster more accuracy. When your technique is established you simply need to move your sight pin in the opposite direction as from which your arrow hits. Be patient and dial your pins in to nearly knock-splitting accuracy.

With regards to arrows, as I am always and forever will and able to save a penny wherever I can I do not advocate for the use of used arrows. You’ll get far more accuracy out of new arrows and they are not as pricey to acquire if you watch your major retailers for post-season sales. Used arrows can also have been abused, which you wouldn’t otherwise know about and could be a safety risk. That being said, I have a collection of used arrows purely for hunting squirrels and other defenseless critters where arrow recovery is a virtual impossibility.

When choosing a release you’ll want to make sure you get something appropriate in size. If your release is too long you are guaranteed to flinch on every shot you make. A release is a piece of equipment that can be easily purchased almost anywhere. Despite popular belief, you don’t need the most expensive one you can find. They are a fairly simple affair and unless you are doing some high-end tournament shooting you’ll really only need the basic model. As you improve and invest more money into your bowhunting rig you can spend some extra change on a top-of-the-line release.

The stabilizer is another absolutely essential piece of gear that is usually heinously overpriced. This is another of the traps I see so many novice archers fall into. Through scowering eBay you can find a perfectly functional stabilizer that will improve the performance of your bow without landing you in divorce Court. For the purposes of hunting I would recommend an eight inch-ish model. I prefer the hydraulic stabilizers, which use some form of fluid to absorb the shock of your bow. However, the newer LimbSaver models work very well and are not as high priced as the more fancy models I so often see.

The quiver is a fairly important item. The quiver on a bow can make or break the success of the hunt. First, the longest raining champion in the world of quivers is the Kwikee Kwiver. They’ve been around forever and have been tested on virtually all bows and in all conditions. Their economically priced and very user friendly. They’re also quiet and can be adapted to accommodate most any size arrow.

When choosing a quiver you want a unit that is quiet. When you have your quiver attached and outfitted with arrows you should use the palm of your hand to bang on your bow a few times. You shouldn’t hear anything more than a dull thud of your palm hitting the limb. If you hear any rattling, chattering, or clunking it will be time to return to the drawing board and begin tightening things down. You make even need to go as far as to get some rubber or felt from your local crat store to reduce any hard surface contact that would cause a noise when the bow is fired.

I have a habit in setting up my quiver that is somewhat controversial. I have a theory that you can change the performance of your bow by either taking your quiver off or leaving it on the bow. I tend to leave my quiver on the bow while stalking and in the stand. When I tune and sight in my bow I do it with a full quiver minus one arrow that I would be shooting in a hunting scenario. This allows for a consistent balance which will enable me to make a solid shot when one is presented to me.

Now that your bow is set up it is time to work on your form. As a novice archer there are  many of mistakes I’ve seen people make over the years. Arguably, footing is the most common issue people have in developing their form. I adapt a leading-trailing footing, with my forward foot slightly pointed towards my target and my rear foot pointing in the same direction I am facing. Establish your footing before you raise your bow so you are well adjusted and stable. Now bring the bow up to your eye level, and don’t lower your head to the bow. You should be able to smoothly draw your bow and situate your kisser button to the corner of your mouth.

At this point you’ll find shooting your bow is roughly the same as shooting a rifle. You shouldn’t put your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to make your shot. When making that shot it is important to gently squeeze the trigger. When the trigger is pulled you should flow with your bow, also known as follow-through. I’ve trained myself over the years to shoot with one eye open and the other slightly open. This allows me to track the arrow as it makes its journey to the target.

Now you’re set up and slinging arrows down the range. This is the time you must practice, practice, practice, and practice some more. I referenced tetris early in making a used bow purchase. Well, shooting the used bow is little different. Every bow, arrow, rest, release, shooter, sight, stabilizer, tree-stand, logging trail, broadhead, and windy day will shoot differently in any combination. If you’re going to be a successful hunter or shooter in general it is beyond important you shoot often and get to know your equipment. Remember, it is our duty as hunters to not leave an animal limping through the woods because of a careless shot.

So, with this knowledge in mind, I encourage all you novice archers to take to yard sales and flea markets to make your first bow purchase. I hope you’ll use my article as a base for further research and expand on your interest so you’ll have many delightful afternoons slinging arrows in your back yard. While you are at it, don’t forget to take a kid shooting. In the words of dear Mr. Keith Weaver, “Shoot straight and shoot often.”

(http://www.weaversarchery.com/701.html)

Take a Kid Fishing

As a true skinflint, I make every effort to live as economically as possible. Let’s be realistic, in today’s economic times you would be hard pressed to say it’s a good idea to just throw money away. “Spend nothing” was the motto of one of my best college professors. Despite his striking similarity in appearance to Gene Wilder’s Willie Wonka he did teach me the need to be fiscally sensible as we can never foresee what is coming down the pike. Examples of such surprises are the housing crash and the introduction of certain ludicrous health care legislation, which further deepened the woes of a recession ravaged lower class in America.

Regardless of who, what, where, why, when, and how the people need to go on. We, the greatest society the world has ever known, simply tighten our belts and stubbornly trudge on. The choices are limited for any of us in the American workforce who have children. We can either let the hard times bring us down or we can make a go of life.

Still, we can look in all corners of our society and see the damage done. Cases of drug and alcohol abuse are on the rise. Divorce rates seem to be on the rise, and a good number of those who don’t get divorced are utterly miserable. Home ownership is still possible, but it’s a lot trickier than it should be. People are getting older, working more hours, and receiving less pay and benefits. Then our dear working class gets to see our very own President say how much good he’s done for us.

Then in the midst of it all is the children of these unsung, working-class, war-time veteran, single-parent, bill paying, overworked, underpaid, no free time, need a vacation type people. Sadly, we see a hundred, or even a thousand people speak out to save the whales, but few pay real attention to the youth in our society today. Who can blame these people? It’s not like the companies who drive our citizenry offer the same benefits they did years ago. Even the organizations that offer paid leave for illness or vacation set their policies so said paid leave is nearly impossible to use. It’s almost like giving a starving person a picture of a pizza.

Nobody can really offer an answer to this dilemma with the way things are presently, and it’s not my intention to make everything about politics. God knows that’s how we got in this jam to begin with. But we do need to make more of our lives about our kids. We have the time to do it. Sadly, we just don’t know we have the time to spend with our kids. I’m not talking about a Disney vacation with all the lights and distractions. Nor am I talking about going somewhere peaceful and letting your child paste their nose to one of those dreadful hand-held devices.

What I’m talking about is taking a little time as often as you can throughout the week and spending it outside with your kids. Take a walk, ride your bikes, throw a ball, go bird watching, go fishing, go hunting, have a healthy picnic, take a hike, build a snowman, build a tree fort, go swimming, or even take an overnight camping trip. Who cares what you do as long as you do something. There are a lot of parents who try, and deserve to be commended. There are a lot of parents who want to, but don’t have the means. They deserve to be commended and supported. Then there are parents who could care less, and there is no excuse for that.

If you want the greatest return on any investment it would be the investment you make on the little boogers who draw on your walls and trash your house from time to time. The greatest happiness you’ll ever find is taking your kids out and showing them how to be happy and healthy. More importantly, getting kids away from the television, xBox, PlayStation, internet, Facebook, or any of their electronic gizmos will help build them in so many ways.

Since we at Skinflint Outdoors are more about hunting and fishing we’ll start there. There are a lot of lessons to be learned from being a true outdoorsman. Many in the anti-hunting/fishing community think it’s all about killing. Those of us who’ve done it all our life know that couldn’t be further from the truth. Being a fan of Theodore Roosevelt, we can see the heart that is developed in the outdoors. We, as humans, are the ultimate predator. But that capability doesn’t define us unless we allow it to. It takes more heart and discipline to show mercy and look to conservation than it does to simply kill.

For those who don’t prefer hunting and fishing as your preferred pastime, there are still the same lessons about having heart that can be learned. Jay Cutler once said “while you’re quitting someone else is still going.” So it’s not even to say you NEED to be outside, but you need to be up and active to learn that sense of determination and strength. Just as Jay Cutler was driven to win the Mr. Olympia title four times, any young child can drive themselves to do great things. So essentially, it’s safe to say the best gaming system, nicest clothes, and easiest lifestyle don’t do as much as taking the time to work as a family to strengthen the heart of your children.

An active, outdoor based, lifestyle can also increase a child’s physical fitness. Studies have shown one out of every three children in America can be classified as obese. Beyond children, we the parents aren’t doing a whole hell of a lot better ourselves. It’s depressing to think we are vicariously being fat through our children, but that often seems to be the case. I’m sure I don’t need to list the other health problems that can come from adolescent obesity. But, I will anyway.

Aside from, heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure there is an issue with a child suffering persistent weight control issues as they grow into adulthood. While all of the afore mentioned conditions are not guaranteed to occur, their probability increases as a person continues to live with an unhealthy lifestyle. The Center for Disease Control has surmised that as little as one hour of moderate physical activity per day can be a major factor in controlling obesity in American youth. Further, the establishment of a healthy lifestyle at an early age can help you insure your children will have a happier and healthier life. You definitely want that as a parent, as these will be the people picking your nursing home.

The physical benefits of sending your child outside is the obvious increased level of fitness. In addition to giving you time to clean up their mess in the house, the exposure to sun and fresh air can raise their levels of vitamin D. This increase in vitamin D production can help them avoid certain bone issues, as well as heart disease, diabetes, and any in a plethora of other health issues. Finally, exposure to the sun can help a developing child improve their vision and avoid nearsightedness.

Being outdoors also has a profound effect on a child’s mind. Studies have shown children show actual signs of stress reduction within minutes of being exposed to a green landscape in the outdoors. A survey published on The Nature Conservancy website said 90% of children polled stated being outside helped them relive stress. The same study also stated 71% felt peaceful being outside.

But there’s still other undeniable evidence of the positive impacts of youth being outdoors. Several schools that offer an outdoor based environmental education program scored higher on standardized tests in math, reading, writing, and listening. Similar studies have found that environmental based education can improve test-taking and critical thinking skills. So, better health and better academic performance. Not too bad, but there’s still more.

Studies have also shown positive cognitive improvement in youth exposed to the outdoors. Youth who are allowed or encouraged to be active have shown higher levels of cognitive development. What this translates to is a reduction of symptoms for diagnosis such as ADHD and other emotional disorders. In a nutshell, loss of free time and a rushed lifestyle which so many of us live are contributing factors to anxiety and depression which can become increasingly disruptive as a youth develops. So, while your boss is demanding we work overtime our children’s brains are being turned to pudding by that xBox we got them for Christmas.

Which leads us to the issues we see in a generation of youth raised with their nose glued to a game system rather than in the outdoors. American children spend an average of forty-four hours per week in front of some form of electronic screen. Over the past twenty years there have been an alarming rise in cases of obesity and psychotropic drug prescriptions to adolescents. Add all this in with the afore mentioned issues we the adults face and we begin to see a clear picture of what our children are potentially facing in the years to come.

There are also social considerations to pay attention to when driving your family towards a more active lifestyle. The matter of social acceptance is profound when concerning the development of youth in society. I had a vegan “acquaintance” at one point who was dim-witted enough to suggest it is better for kids to run the streets and use drugs than it was for them to take the life of a poor, little, innocent animal. This startling notion was put forth when she was faced with data suggesting the benefits of an outdoor lifestyle.

While I tend not to be engrossed with the mental diarrhea of the self-righteous fools in society, I was struck with an idea that prompted research. As it turns out, this “woman,” along with many others, has become a victim of the advertising machine in America. Simply stated, there are millions and millions of dollars to be made off game systems. These game systems are advertised on television shows and the internet, which again stands to make millions of dollars.

When we follow the money we begin to see it is not fiscally advantageous to the gaming industry for our kids to leave the house. They cover their tracks by giving us the Wii and saying it encourages kids to be more active. I still remember that commercial and thought that the only ones who truly benefit from the gaming industry are the gaming producers and drug dealers. Admit it, somebody had to be stoned with they came up with that piece of advertising garbage.

Some of these very same game systems have been studied and found to have a desensitizing effect on the youth who play them for prolonged periods. They can alter the very thought pattern of a subject to make them react more aggressively or without concern for the parameters of living in the real world. So you don’t believe me? You can look up Dave Grossman’s book, On Killing. It talks all about the psychological value of learning to kill. Then you can research further and find that the United States military is actually using video games to train soldiers to kill.

While I’m not saying every kid who has ever played a video game will become a serial murder or drug user, I am saying the end results of negative influence from communication devices coupled with the health problems associated with being sentient are not something any good parent would want their child  to suffer. If you were to ask most professionals in the juvenile justice field they’ll tell you the three contributing actors to delinquency are lack of funds/means, lack of education, and lack of parental supervision or involvement.

So what do we do about it? No matter what your budget is there is always something you can do with your kids that involves more than leaving them to their own devices in front of the video game. The internet is a great source of free activities you can do with your child. If all else fails, your local law enforcement, fire department, church of your religious preference, or education administration will be able to provide you with budget friendly resources allowing your child to make the most of their potential.

There are also a number of private organizations which can help with structured activities. The Boy Scots of America and the Girl Scouts are everywhere. Such organizations can provide many good activities and lessons for the youth who join. Still other organizations such as the YMCA will have budget friendly programs for youth to participate in. Many local gun and bow clubs will also host events centered on children. An example of this is Ted Nugent’s Kamp for Kids. It’s a simple twenty-five dollar, per kid, admission for the whole day that would be big fun for your little house-wreckers.

The idea is to be a family. So often, we’re pushed away from that ideal. It is the job of us as parents in America to push back and take time and resources for our children. As morbid as it is to say, when we are laying on our death bed it will not be the CEO of our company or the boss we love so much that will be there for us. Likewise, our kids aren’t going to look to Mario and Luigi when they’re sick or hurt. I submit that we must be active with our children so the energy we expend can be used to build bonds that will be passed through the generations.

So to that end, being a skinflint means keeping as much of your hard earned money as you can. After you have it all safe and tucked away from the greedy folk who would take it you are then free to spend it having a good life with the ones you love. Investing time and concern in ones you love will turn out to be the best investment you will ever make. Hell, even Ebenezer Scrooge learned that little lesson.

Who Packed The Kitchen Sink

How the hell do you make an anything about camping interesting? Essentially, it’s the equivalent of golf in the outdoor world. Face it, you’ve never seen anyone in the crowd following a golfer around give someone a high five. Just like you’ve never witnessed anyone do a chest bump when they got the tent set up. Well, maybe you have. You may see someone get their ass slapped, but that has nothing to do with being proud of the tent. Camping is a relatively low-energy activity, yet people spend big money and a lot of time doing it. I guess I can go for it as long as there’s a possibility of ass slapping.

First and foremost, let me specify that when I refer to camping I am only talking about the good old fashioned time in the wilderness. I do not class RV-ing as camping and am not going to focus on it. I, myself, like to simply lay out a blanket and sleep under the stars. I’m okay with a tent for those rough weather kind of nights, but I really don’t need a lot else. Hell, for that matter, all that extra gear is nothing more than a hassle to deal with as far as I’m concerned. So then, I am only going to focus on basic practice, ritual, and gear for the purposes of this article.

Firstly, why do we camp? What possesses seemingly rational people to take a week off work, spend a lot of money on gear, pray for good weather, and live like a homeless person? If you were to ask folks this question there would be more different answers than you would want to deal with. For me, I’ve spent a lot of time camping because I’m cheap. There have been a number of occasions I have taken my tribe on vacations and had the half-baked idea I could save some dough by camping instead of staying in a hotel.

Fortunately for me I live with people who like camping so it worked out, except that I didn’t always manage to save the money I tried so desperately to hang on to. Recently, when buying a tent for our last camping adventure I came to the grim realization that if I divided the amount of money I had spent on tents by the number of nights I actually got to use them I probably spent almost as much money per night as I would’ve in a motel. As I wiped the tears from my eyes I came to the conclusion the only good reason to camp is because it’s what you truly love to do.

Whether you are taking your family on a Disney vacation or hunting the upper peninsula of Michigan, you really need to love camping if that’s how you decide to plan your trip. When you take to the campground there is little to no escaping Mother Nature. Rain, snow, unexpected cold weather, bugs, wild animals, extreme heat, wind, drunken neighbors, and a long walk to the bathroom are all going to be your worst enemies. If you are willing to face all those obstacles then you love camping. If none of that appeals to you then you’re probably better off to take the wimp-clause and get a hotel room.

On the topic of hunting and fishing, there are a lot of times you will find yourself camping. Though my fortunes have not often allowed me to take such trips I have been told by more than a few people they are the best. You can go anywhere and be well hidden from anything manmade. With an easily portable set of camping gear you can reach areas unfamiliar to the weekend warriors of the hunting and fishing world. Literally, the sky is the limit. Especially seeing all you really need is a small shelter and soft enough dirt to pound a tent stake in to.

So let’s talk about gear. First, the tent, and dare I say most of them suck. While I never recommend anyone shop at Wal-Mart under any circumstances, the tents at any of the other numbers of outdoor stores can easily be of inferior quality. This point is made so critical because of the extortion fee all such stores would charge for a shelter. I suggest you don’t even waste the money to buy a tent until you have a good, safe place to store it. Some place free of bugs and rodents that would happily destroy it would be preferable. Sadly, most tents only see action one or two times before they fall victim to moths or mice while stored in a shed or the rafters of a garage.

Now that you’ve looked around your house and decided on a safe place to store your tent, you’re ready to go shopping. So what to buy becomes the next hurdle. Most tents at most stores have a dimension on the label but it’s still hard to figure out how big the tent will be. So when shopping it is always better to elect to buy more than you actually need when it comes to buying a tent. If you have a family of six, you’d be much happier with the ten person tent. Always go big when getting your tent. It will be better to have too much space than not enough.

Now, all that’s left is finding your price-point. I’m reminded of an outdoor goods merchant who sold artic tents to some of my handicapped clients some years ago because he smelled a chance to rake some poor folks over the coals to make a profit. While everyone isn’t so naive, there are plenty of advertisements and salesmen who would have you spend much more than you need to. Simply put, if you’re only camping a few times a year in good weather then you don’t need to sell your first-born to raise money to buy a gear.

On the flip side of that, you may want to spend some serious money if you’re planning to make some pretty extreme camping trip. The voice of experience would tell you it is in no way a good time to have hiked thirty miles away from civilization just to find yourself sleeping in the mud because your low-quality tent got tore. No matter where you camp you’ll always want something to set your tent on, such as a tarp, and a patch kit for the worst. It is also a good idea to water-proof your tent with any in the list of available products, but this is not absolutely mandatory.

Sleeping bags are another commodity people often spend too much money on. Military surplus bags for best for moderate cold weather and you can pick them up for a song at most flea markets or army surplus store throughout America. Fair weather bags are available at most large retailers, as you really don’t need anything special. Naturally, if you’re planning a trip into the tundra you’ll want to go to a specialty outfitter and shell out some serious cash, which makes me shiver almost as much as the thought of the cold.

Then we come to the point of the basic tools you should never go afield without. I carry a tomahawk I purchased at the Harrisburg Outdoor Show several years ago. I find it works better than a regular hatchet as it has a thick back which makes it perfect for driving stakes in the ground, hacking tree limbs, chopping firewood, fending off marauding drunken campers, or manufacturing anything I may need in the woods. It is by far the simplest and most effective tool you can carry, and it has a plethora of applications.

In addition to an ax of some sort you’ll want an assortment of knives to get you through the trip. It never hurts to have more than one knife in the event one is list or broken. I’ve gotten in the practice of carrying one good knife I use for cleaning any game I take and a second knife I would be willing to use to try and cut a rock in half. In other words, the second knife is just there so I don’t destroy my good one. Then the other knives I would have would be for the purpose of cooking or any other specialty activity I may engage in on the trip. 

I can’t talk about knives without mentioning my machete. You should never leave home without one. This style of tool gets a lot of attention in the Hollywood scene, but they are among the most useful all around tools anyone could own. Especially to any man, like myself, who has any number of daughters. I don’t need to bore anyone with details of what a machete can be used for, or incriminate myself talking about any of my daughter’s future suiters for that matter. What I will say about the machete is the most abused tool in the outdoors.

Nobody buys a decent one and nobody thinks to keep them sharp. The same rule that applies to a kitchen knife applies to a machete. Dull ones have hurt more people than sharp ones. Take it from a skinflint, you need to spend a little extra cash on a machete that will hold a good edge. Also, those lanyards on the handle aren’t for decoration. They’re to keep the damn thing from going airborne when your hand starts to get tired so please use it.

The cooking gear you use should be fairly basic too. Camp stove come in all shapes and sizes, but again, if it makes fire and cooks your food then you can save your money and avoid the pricey deluxe model. As far as the actual cookware, there is no shame in using old pots and pans from your kitchen or any that you may be able to procure at yard sales or flea markets.  The cookware you choose should be as simple as possible to save on space and hassle when you’re actually camping.

Likewise, the food you cook while camping should be very simple. Everybody loves hot dogs and s’mores over the campfire, but one-pot wonders such as chili, mac and cheese, or plain old fashioned stew are also fantastic camp fare. If you’re camping in hotter regions of the country there’s little that can go wrong with a simple lunch meat sandwich and some form of pasta salad. However you choose to balance menu and cookware is yet another point that should reflect the type of camping you routinely do.

When you set a menu you need to figure out the kind of cooler you’ll need. You could almost do a week long college style lecture on the cooler options on the market today. While I personally long to own a YETI cooler for my very own, the reality I, as well as many others, must face is they are simply out of reach. So, if you can’t have the best you might as well spend your money in the right place. The simple truth is all you need in a cooler is something that fits with your other equipment. You don’t need any of the expensive models sold at Wal-Mart, as there are tricks you can apply to make you ice last longer and contents stay cooler.

One such trick is using salt in your cooler. I once kept two wild hogs frozen for five days in an average cooler using salt and towels. Simply enough, you sprinkle a good amount of table salt on the bottom of your cooler, then you put in a layer of ice, approximately three to five inches depending on the dimensions of your cooler. Lay a trach bag over the ice to avoid direct contact with any meat and place in said meat. Lay another trash bag over the contents and top off with ice. Sprinkle another portion of salt on that layer of ice and cover with an old bath towel. Using such a simple trick can turn an average cooler into a super cooler for the mere price of two trash bags and dollar store container of salt.

On the topic of coolers, there’s the point of buying well but they also need to be utilized well. These handy storage vessels can not only keep food at an appropriate temperature, but can be used to keep clothes and gear dry when in transit or not in use. Additionally, the can be used to store dry goods while at camp so that bugs and animals can’t be left to scrounge elsewhere for their dinner.

So, we can now arguably state the cooler is among the most important article of gear a camper can have. They can protect your food stuffs, or keep gear dry until needed. They can be carried or stored inside or outside of the vehicle. The key to proper cooler use is to plan your trip to and from your destination. If needed, you can carry food and other goods to your trip and save space on your return by storing extra carry-on items in empty coolers. You can also use the extra space resulting from consumed products to transport hides, heads, and meat back from a hunting or fishing trip. Let’s be honest, most people don’t want to come home from a vacation so the easier it is to pack and travel home equates to a few extra precious hours staying on vacation.

If you’re going to want to stay longer you’d better be sure you pick a place you really want to stay at. As with anything, you need to do a ton of research before you select a campsite. On occasion you can get lucky and have a perfect time finding a campsite on a whim. On one recent occasion we were able to select a different campsite at a different lake while on our way to where we had intended to go. Literally, a scant twenty minutes away from our campground we changed our minds and went somewhere else. While the trip went great, sort of, I definitely wouldn’t recommend this kind of travel.

Here is the true beauty of camping. Everything is mobile and if you, at the last minute, elect to change travel plans it is easier to do so. Aside from mobility, cheaper per diem expenses also make camping preferable to a stay at a hotel. If you can handle the absence of a television, bed, and air conditioner then camping is for you. Camping also allows a family to save on food costs compared dining out every night. However, you need to be prepared to cook and clean for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This may or may not be a deterrent, depending on if you’re leaving the campground for activities or staying on location for activities.

That’s the nuts and bolts of camping. I would caution any skinflint out there to avoid the notion that camping takes a lot of specialized equipment. A lantern, toilet paper, matches, rope, tent, and a cooler and you’ve got the basics. That’s it, there’s absolutely nothing special that needs to cause stress or cost a tone of extra money. Or, on the other hand, you can get in depth and serious about your hobby. You can find a place like the Tumblehome Lodge in Canada to do some wilderness camping, or the KOA in Tampa, Florida so you can experience the Gulf of Mexico. The sky is almost the limit.

So why, again, would you want to stay longer? You have to get back home and back to your life, right? Well, maybe or maybe not. Tell me again why do we camp? Here’s a thought. It’s a long shot, but one I’m definitely willing to put forth. Are you sitting down? Could camping be a good manner of vacations because you can leave the TV and microwave so you can be in peace and quiet with your family? I know it seems preposterous, but imagine a week with your children, uninterrupted by television, smart phones, internet, or Netflix.

So it is safe to say we camp as a hobby. We can then vacation with our loved ones and enjoy peace and quiet. Pack your gloves and balls, bows and arrows, rods and reels so you can take some time away from your arrogant boss and build a relationship with the ones you love, and who love you. It’s these memories we build that will shape the dynamics of our families forge generations to come. Truly, you can’t go far wrong with a time camping with the people closest to you.

Poor Man's Raman

Like it or not, Ramen is here to stay. This simple noodle dish has been a staple in America for enough years now that the odds of it going away are nonexistent. Hell, most of us who went to college in the past twenty years would’ve starved to death if not for packaged ramen soup. Sadly enough, there is also a fair number of working folk who probably would’ve gone hungry if not for this cheap meal. Let’s face it, in the sad times we live in there are just days where you have to think inside the pack to come up with dinner.

I know of some folks who refuse to eat ramen noodles because they went through a time in their life when that was all they had the money to eat. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner all totaled out to a whopping ninety-nine cents per person. Fortunately for me, I’m not the person who gets tired of eating the same thing repeatedly. My own bouts with poverty have simply taught me to exchange repetition with unorthodox and often questionable additions to make food interesting. When push comes to shove, the most untrustworthy people in this world are the ones who don’t admire and experiment with their food.

Ramen is a food item that screams to be made interesting and despite my Vascular Surgeon’s warnings I have made every effort to make it interesting.  Its humble beginnings will forever make it the ultimate survival food.  Its history and evolution are nothing short of intriguing and with a little effort; a simple bowl of noodles can become a favorite of people, both young and old, wealthy or poor. First, let’s explore this simplest of culinary marvels.

Instant ramen that we know and love in America was invented in 1954 by Momofuku Ando in an attempt to feed people in a Japan that was still recovering from World War II.  During those days the Japanese Ministry of Health was encouraging people to eat bread that was supplied by America. It was the general consensus that most noodle companies were not stable enough to meet the need for noodles, as they were a food far more familiar to the Japanese people. Momofuku, being an inventor and businessman went on a binge of trial and error attempts to develop and market a sustainable food item. His notion was “Peace will come to the world when the people have enough to eat.”

Essentially, he had found a way to flash-fry a fully cooked noodle so the cooking process was stopped and the product could be stored. When needed it was simple matter of placing the brick of noodles in boiling water and adding the seasoning packet. Said packet was a simple mixture of any flavor of stock packed with monosodium glutamate. So, in the end, you basically have a soup made with noodles fried in a rich fat and seasoned with a lot of sodium. I ask you again, how can this be so bad?

Okay, so all joking aside, so how bad can ramen noodles be?  Let’s just say the health impacts are negligible when compared to some of the other crap we the American people consume. Coca-Cola can unclog toilets and clean stains out of your driveway. Sugar has more addictive properties than cocaine, yet we eat that stuff by the tractor-trailer load. Taco Bell, as much as their tacos are beloved, uses dog-food grade meat for their delectable entrees.  McDonalds, on the other hand, is anyone’s guess as to what you’re actually eating. Lunch meat is high in sodium, as is bread and cereal. You could almost go on for days about how bad the food we eat is.

Therefore, when you contrast everything we eat on a normal day a simple pack of instant ramen noodles isn’t that bad. As with everything we consume the difficulty resides in moderation. It’s common to find someone who eats four-thousand calories a day then wonders why they have trouble controlling their weight. Ramen noodles can be part of such struggles. I wouldn’t be able to sleep with myself if I didn’t take the time to advocate for a healthy lifestyle and proper eating habits. If you watch your diet, I think we can safely say a simple bowl of ramen on occasion won’t kill you.

On the topic of healthy, there is an alternative to simple moderation. That alternative is to simply replace the unhealthy calories with something less frightening. I’ve seen on a number of occasions where a friend of colleague has boiled some water and made a steaming bowl of ramen, with FOUR packs of noodles. Let me just say that I have done some crazy thigs in the kitchen that may well be enough to make a dietician retire, so when I say something is unhealthy you may want to refrain from eating it. In place of two, three, or four packs of noodles you can get by with one. Just load them up with less artery clogging selections. Admit it, you know you want to be around to embarrass your kids in front of their college room-mate.

It goes without saying that instant ramen has no way of competing with fresh-made from scratch ramen noodles. Part of the magic of this mysteriously simple soup is the manner by which it transcends all cultural and social bounds. Literally, rich to poor, young to old, sinner to saint, there will be a ramen recipe out there for you somewhere. For this reason, we see the ascension of Chefs like Ivan Orkin, who is perhaps the leading authority of ramen in America. Yet he’s not the only one. Ramen shops are springing up in cities all over America.

The internet is loaded with different recipes, hacks, trends, ideas, and tricks to transform a simple bowl of noodles into something amazing, and just as often hideous. Somebody actually came up with the idea to fry ramen noodles and use them in place of a hamburger bun. While I’m all about creativity, some foods really shouldn’t be made to go beyond their DNA. Otherwise, there are no rules. If you’re from the south you can feel free to use beet greens and some chicken in your ramen. Maybe some green beans and beef for the mid-westerners. How about some chorizo and chili for the people in Albuquerque? Why not? The sky is the limit.

It’s reasonable to say ramen is so wide-spread and loved because of its versatility. It’s the simplest and tastiest of fare. It is perfectly acceptable to have in hot weather but it’s equally awesome in cold climates. With a simple variation of ingredients ramen is a fantastic for breakfast, lunch, dinner. We also need to remember ramen can be a lifesaver after a night of heavy drinking. That’s usually when I came up with some of my best adaptations, but I never seem to remember to write them down.  

Then there’s the slurp. Few Americans have mastered it, and most probably never will. This is perhaps my favorite part of eating ramen noodles. In no other culinary spectrum is it perfectly acceptable and even expected for the diner to make noise when enjoying their food. To eat your ramen properly you need to step away from the table with your face splattered with broth and fat from the bowl. The only accepted tools are chopsticks and a spoon. If you don’t know how to use chopsticks you need to quit making excuses and learn. Sufficed to say a ramen shop is only a place for a fancy date if you happen to be dating someone really cool. So, whether at home or dining out you need not be afraid to make some noise.

There’s a brief, and hopefully not too boring rundown of the phenomena that is instant ramen. I hope you enjoy the recipe below and will jump on the ramen scooter to make up some of your own creations. Don’t forget to check out some of the links I have at the end of my video for more information at ramen.

Poor Man’s Miso Ramen

1 tsp. minced garlic

1 tsp. minced ginger

1 tsp. soy sauce

2 tbsp. peanut butter

1 soft boiled egg

4 oz. reduced fat ground pork

2 packages ramen noodles

1 habanero sliced fine

2 green onions cut in strips

4 cups water

1- Bring saucepan of water to boil and cook plain noodles until just undercooked.

2- Drain noodles and reserve in bowl you are serving soup in. (Note: it is very important to have    the noodles ready so the pork mixture will have a place to go when it is cooked.)

3- In a mixing bowl place soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and pork. Mix until well combined.

4- Sautee pork mixture until cooked through, but do not brown garlic or ginger.

5- Stir in peanut butter to pork mixture and cook until incorporated. Place cooked pork over cooked noodles. (Do not wipe out the pan.)

6- Place pan back on high heat and put 4 cups of water in to dissolve browned pork bits still in pan. Add seasoning packet contents.

7- After water boils pour over noodle and pork mixture.

8- Garnish with split egg, green onion, and habanero pepper slices. Serve immediately.